Holiday Survival Guide – UPDATED November 2020
The holidays are quickly approaching! Before we know it, Thanksgiving will be over and December will be here and Christmas is right around the corner! This time of year can be both great and stressful. If you’re newly divorced,or going through a divorce or family law case it can still be great for you, too.
Here are some tips in my holiday survival guide to help you get through the holidays and maybe even enjoy them.
1) Read your Order
You may have divorce temporary orders, or a divorce decree that has the schedule for possession or a parenting plan. Most divorce orders have holiday provisions in them so that both parents know what is happening over the holidays. Review your divorce orders now, and you’ll be ahead of the curve. If you are able to get up to speed now, you’ll know what areas or dates that you might have a question about early. If you have a questions about a divorce decree, contact an experienced divorce attorney and schedule a meeting to ask your questions. Write down all of your questions, and use that time to get the answers about your divorce decree that you need. That way you’ll know what you need to do and when you need to do it by reading your divorce decree, temporary orders or other final order. If you have a Texas final order or temporary orders there is a good chance you have provisions for both the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays in your order. Read through there to get your start and then move to the next step.
If you don’t have anything in your orders, and that could happen this year with the restrictions on courts and cases, now is the time to figure that out and call your divorce or family law attorney.
2) Get a school calendar update
Look at the school calendar for your children to find out the school holiday dates, as well as the release dates and times for the days right before the holidays. Make sure you have the right dates for the holidays. This may sound unnecessary but school districts change them from time to time and some districts have early release the days before the actual school holiday which could affect Thanksgiving possession in Texas, as well as Thursday periods of possession. And, again 2020 holiday schedules could be affected, just like all the other restrictions and changes we’ve had this year.
3) Communicate with your ex
After you have figured out everything you need to know from your final divorce or family law orders or temporary orders, make a plan and begin to communicate with the other parent. Focus on your children during the holidays. Coparenting relationships are always better when parents can focus on the kids, and their needs. And, this may be tough if this holiday season is the first since the divorce, so plan, plan, plan. Trust the plan, and not your emotions. See my post about technology and how it can help here.
4) Prepare your kids
Prepare your kids for the holidays and let them know how everything is going to work. They are looking forward to the holidays. If this is the first holiday post-divorce and there are two houses for their parents, the children will be wondering howThanksgiving and Christmas after divorce are going to work. If it isn’t their first year, they are still wondering how it is going to look this year – especially with all of the coronavirus changes in our world.
5) Plan new activities and traditions
We all love traditions around the holidays. If the old activities and traditions don’t work anymore, make some new ones. Go to places your ex never wanted to go or try new traditions to see if you like the new ideas. Binge watch Christmas movies? Drive around town and look at lights? Use social media to your advantage and find out where you can go and try new things. But, don’t compare your first (or your tenth) Thanksgiving after divorce or your first post-divorce Christmas to everyone else’s on social media.
You may not have the perfect holiday (but who does?), and you’ll survive it with some new activities and by trying some new traditions.
Jill O’Connell, Esq. I am happy to visit with you about your possession questions or issues. Call today: 972-203-6644