A Lawyer’s Thoughts on Life During Divorce

What is going to happen to your life during divorce? As a lawyer who deals with families in crisis on most days of the week, there are some things that I tell my clients and those I consult with that have nothing to do with legal issues.  When my clients are going through a divorce, I can tell that it feels as if everything revolves around the divorce.  If parents are struggling through a conflict filled modification of child support or a modification of parenting time and schedule, it feels as if nothing will work smoothly again.  How to go on living is sometimes the elephant in the room – how to keep living during your case?  In those times, my words aren’t always helpful, and thankfully there are other options.

Those days and times can be tough to get through.  During those times, I try to remind my clients about a few things to help them finish well.

Do Something Fun

Do something fun even in the middle of your divorce – find something that is fun and go do it.  There are lots of things to do in Denton County and the Metroplex and the costs range from free to as high as you might want to go.  If you have kids, take them along for the ride and have some fun with them.  Fishing – Did you know that there is a lake in Denton that is stocked?  Have you been to Klyde Warren Park in Dallas?  And, of course, you can choose from the Stars, the Mavericks, the Rangers or the Rough Riders for your sport of choice – even the Cowboys.

Friends and Family

Talk to your friends and family.  There will be a time when it feels as if your lawyer knows everything about your case and so she is the easiest one to talk to about it all.  Remember, your lawyer’s job is to assist you through the legal process.  Talk to your loved ones, your friends, your family – those who know you best and are available to support you on all levels of your life.  Make time for them and schedule time to be with them.

Mental Health and Physical Health

And, at the end of the day, take care of yourself.  Family law conflicts are hard emotionally and physically.  Stress is very real in these types of cases.  Mental health professionals are trained to help you work through the mental and emotional issues – lawyers aren’t.  Your physician is trained to work through any physical issues you may have or experience as you go through this process – lawyers aren’t.  Make it a point to check in with both of these professionals as you go through this to help you through your case.  Are you considering running, yoga, massage therapy?  These professionals will answer your questions and can give you advice to make sure you are the best you can be physically and mentally while working through your issues.  These are the professionals who can advise you about stress management.

Family law conflicts are usually more like marathons (okay, maybe a half-marathon) than a walk around the block.  And, I believe, it takes more than just your lawyer to help you finish well.

 

Jill O’Connell