Costs to Delaying Divorce

I won’t tell someone whether or not they should get a divorce.  It’s not my choice.  And, it’s not my life.  If I’m having a consultation with someone I only know a tiny slice of the story of their life.  However, there are certain things to consider, realistically, when making that decision.  There can be costs to continuing a marriage.  It may be time to practice self-care and consider the options that are in your best interests.


Divorce isn’t easy even when it is the right choice.  If you are continuing in a marriage, for one reason or another, consider the emotional toll.  Is continuing the marriage giving you a positive emotional return or a negative emotional return?


If there is physical or mental abuse going on in the marriage, it is time to consider making a change.  Get support, contact law enforcement and consider divorce.  These circumstances can require special focus on safety and survival.  But you do have options.  Find your resources and make some good choices with your personal preservation as a goal.


If your spouse is having an affair, you may be at risk for physical consequences of your spouse’s choices.  Go see your doctor and tell them what is going on so that they can advise and move forward in a way that is best for you.  You may need tests.  You may need something else but be honest with your doctor.  It won’t be easy but do it anyway.


If you have an estate that is growing due to your work and or business interests and growth, well done!  However, if you are married and believe you have reached that point where divorce is the only option, the longer you delay that choice the larger the community estate will get.  And, the community estate will be divided in the marriage.   Consider whether or not you want to minimize how the rewards of your hard work will be divided between you and your spouse.


If you and your spouse are struggling in your marriage in a way that your children have become involved in the struggle, consider what is happening.   There are several possibilities for counseling and help.  Find out how to get professional help through counseling for you or you and your spouse together or just for your kids.  But, do something to help your kids.

If you have questions regarding your family law or divorce, please call to make an appointment with Jill O’Connell, 940-497-5454.