When you’re a divorced parent, you are a parent first. The divorce means that you are going to be divorced parents working through the holidays together. Here are 5 of the tips I give in my office for holidays after divorce.
1) Finish your Divorce Strong
My first tip for you whether you’re a divorced father or divorced mother, is to finish your divorce. When you get your divorce decree from your divorce attorney, read it. Don’t stash it in a drawer, no matter how much you want to do that. Read it a second time. If you don’t want to read the whole thing, just read the parts that have to do with your kids first. Refresh yourself on your holiday schedule, your weekend schedule and your summer schedule. If you have a question, now is the time to call your divorce lawyer.
2) Keep a Copy of Your Divorce Decree Handy
My second tip is to keep a copy of your Decree of Divorce handy. Make a hard copy, a pdf copy or take a picture of the important pages to keep on your phone. The day will come when you need to look at it – and especially when it comes to the holidays.
3) Know the School Schedule
Third tip is to know the school schedule. You have to know that schedule as well as you know your work schedule. An early dismissal could mean that your pick up and drop off has changed. Thanksgiving possession time could start when school lets out on the Friday before Thanksgiving or the Wednesday before Thanksgiving – but you won’t know unless you know what your Divorce Decree says and the school schedule.
4) Early Notice and Early Ask
The holidays are hectic for all of us. Ask for changes or let your ex know if you have to make a change as soon as possible. You will have a higher chance of getting what you ask for, and will reduce stress and tension if you communicate early and often.
5) Remember You’re in for the Long Run
Final tip is to remember this is just one holiday out of many to come. If you ask for a change and your ex is unwilling or unable to accommodate, just take it in stride. If your ex asks for something, consider it fully. At some point, you will be the one asking or receiving a request. Take a breath – and consider your divorced relationship with your ex when you make a decision.
For more tips, make an appointment with Jill O’Connell, 940-497-5454. This post is for informational purposes only. You need specific advice for your case.