Your divorce attorney says she needs your Financial Information Statement, the parenting class completion certificate, and you need to start your Inventory and Appraisement with all supporting documents. You think: What? Why? What are all these things? And, how am I any closer to getting divorced if I work on these? I just want to be divorced. Don’t these all take more time? When do I have to do this? How do I even start any of these? Do I need these things to get divorced? I already told you what I want. How will these help me get divorced?
Right?
This story can be told at the start of every divorce, with a few variations of course. This isn’t a list of every Texas divorce question ever asked during divorce, but definitely questions that I’ve heard over and over again. And, when I say heard, I mean heard clients say and read on my clients’ faces. Texas divorces, even agreed divorces and uncontested divorces, have some elements that are the same for Texas divorces with attorneys involved in the divorce.
How can a divorce coach help? What is a divorce coach? Do I need a divorce coach?
Divorce Emotions
Almost all of the divorce questions above are triggered by an emotion of some kind that comes from being involved in divorce. Divorce can bring up anger, self-respect, loss of respect, fear, fear of the unknown, stress, sadness, grief to name a few. There are many more emotions and questions that come up before, during and after divorce. And, I always recommend a counselor or other mental health professional for strictly the emotional and mental health needs during divorce. I am an attorney and not a mental health professional.
As an attorney divorce coach, I can help you process the emotions that happen during the different phases of divorce and natural transitions in a divorce. And, I very often meet with and help people after their divorce has been final for some time and help them understand the conflict and emotions that are still occurring from the framework of their divorce and final orders including the Final Decree of Divorce. Since I am a divorce attorney with more than 20 years’ experience and a certified divorce coach, I have been able to work with clients and help them from a very special perspective of understanding the Texas divorce process, and helping them work through divorce decisions and divorce goals in conjunction with processing their emotions. I can help you work towards peace, forgiveness, and respect in your divorce and after your divorce is completed. I understand temporary orders including Rule 11 Agreements, temporary child support, temporary spousal support. I understand a Final Decree of Divorce, including our Texas Standard Possession Order and especially the parts about the summer and time with each parent after divorce.
Divorce Goals
As a divorce attorney, I believe in the importance of setting goals in your divorce. Your divorce goals are what sets the map for your divorce journey. Without divorce goals, you will eventually get divorced, but you will undoubtedly wonder what happened at the end of your divorce. This is because when I’m in the role of divorce lawyer, my focus is on getting you divorced, and solving the problems along the way. I’m a divorce problem solver. And, you, going through divorce, are going to have emotional highs and lows, along the way. With divorce goals, you are able to see today’s nasty text, crabby email, or late kid pick-up in the framework of your goals. Will it help you reach your divorce goal to email or call your divorce lawyer? Or will it make more divorce sense to take other action? Your divorce goals will help you know if the answer is yes or no.
As your divorce coach, I can help you set divorce goals, with the divorce attorney understanding of the divorce process and the divorce coach training that comes with being certified in the Better Apart method.
A Better Divorce
All of the best parts of a divorce attorney + the conversations you wish you could have with your divorce attorney and the questions you want to ask but you always think of after you’ve met with your attorney = an attorney who is your certified divorce coach.
I’ll give you an example of coaching – and this is just an example, not a specific client but rather a combination of many. A woman client had been divorced for a good bit of time, almost two years. The divorce terms and the divorce decree had been reached by the two spouses agreeing to the terms of the divorce including everything having to do with the kids. The mom was frustrated because dad wasn’t doing what he should be doing and doing things he shouldn’t be. Mom was pretty sure she fully understood her divorce decree and was considering that she would need to take further action. During our time together I was able to find out and discuss her goals, and review her final orders including the Divorce Decree. From there, during our coaching time together I was able to point out and clarify specific parts of the divorce decree for her. Next, we were able to come up with some specific steps and specific action she could take to meet her goals.
Divorce coaching can happen in a group setting or a private session where I focus exclusively on one client. Private sessions are available in a one-time power hour format or multiple sessions over a course of time. Of course, all of these divorce coaching options are using an online platform.
Next Steps
When you’re ready to get the benefits of a certified Texas divorce coach, and have a better Texas divorce,call 972-203-6644 or shoot us an email and schedule your strategy session with Jill O’Connell.