business partners are posing against white background

Should you take divorce advice from your friends?

Divorce advice from friends usually falls into 2 categories: friends who have been through a divorce and friends who haven’t.  Those friends who have been through a divorce are usually more than happy to share with you what you should do or shouldn’t do and what you should get and what you shouldn’t get and what you must make sure you do about your kids (everybody has a story to tell).  And, sometimes even those friends who haven’t been through a divorce have opinions about all of those things.  But should they be your source of advice for your decisions?  No, I don’t think you should you get divorce advice from your friends.  Here are my thoughts:

Your Support System

Your friends should be the ones who help you get through your divorce by listening to you over lunch or a cup of coffee, and be there to support you and laugh with you through the tough days, great days and inevitable awkward moments that are coming.

If you’ve seen one divorce, you’ve seen them all?

No, one divorce isn’t exactly the same as another.  But, you say, my friend knows me better than anyone else.  Okay, even if that is the case, do you guys dress alike; have the exact same hair color and style, eat the exact same foods, every day, day after day?  That sounds ridiculous, right?  Unless you answered yes to those questions, even if your friend knows everything about you, you are different people and aren’t exactly alike.  Your divorce should be tailored to you and your needs specifically.  Even you and your best friend aren’t exactly alike – so why should your divorces be the same?  Your reason for divorce, finances, ex-spouses and children are different and your divorce will be different too.

Divorce isn’t ‘One Size Fits All’

Everyone’s case is different.  Divorces can be finished as quickly as 61 days from beginning to end.  That’s rare, but not impossible.  Divorce can be accomplished by agreement without lawyers, agreement with lawyers, collaborative law, mediation, arbitration, litigation and all of those combined.  The costs vary with each method both financially and personally.  How do you want to finish your divorce?  That is a question that only you can answer and talk over with your lawyer.

Get your divorce questions answered by your lawyer and other professionals if you need them.  Meet your friends for everything else.

By Jill O’Connell, Jill can be reached at 940-497-5454.