These divorced parent Christmas tips come from years of talking with my clients and former clients. These tips have helped them and might help you too.
Think About Your Kids- After Divorce or During Divorce
First tip is to remember how much you love your kid or kids regardless of divorce. You didn’t divorce your kids. Don’t think about your divorce. Right? Think about how much you searched for the latest and greatest for them. You braved the crowds, or the web traffic if you’re that shopper. You got up at the crack of dawn for Black Friday or Cyber Monday, right? So, keep up that spirit throughout this whole season. Put that love for your kids first, and your emotions towards your ex at the bottom of the list of things you are thinking about right now.
Second tip is to be flexible with the divorce holiday schedule, if you can. If your kids are safe and healthy, ask yourself if being flexible is the right choice. It can be unwanted, annoying, and whatever else, but in this season, ask yourself if it is the right choice… anyway. Only you will know the answer, so ask the question. Your divorce decree probably includes language that says if the parents (you and your ex) reach a mutual agreement (you both agree) then you can agree to something other than what is in your decree. Read your Divorce Decree if you don’t know if yours includes that type of language.
Be Present in the Holidays
Third tip is to enjoy the present regardless of where you are in your divorce. Enjoy your kids and your holiday schedule. Enjoy the holiday moments, the actual holidays, and the fun nights without homework and no school to rush to in the morning. The holidays after divorce are still special for you and your kids. Try some new traditions after your divorce. All it take is announcing it’s a new tradition! Don’t make it into a divorce thing – just start a new post-divorce holiday tradition. As a divorced parent during the holidays, focus on the parent part of that title. Focus on the time you have with your kids, your family, your friends, and don’t focus on your divorce.
Help Your Kids Buy Presents After the Divorce
Fourth tip is to help your kids celebrate Christmas with the other parent after divorce. Yes, I mean help them shop and buy presents for your ex. This tip comes from my clients through the years. This may sound shocking and unusual, but based on all the stories I’ve heard through the years, this is profoundly valuable to your relationship with your kids. It speaks volumes to them about what you will set aside for them and how far you will go to help them, despite the divorce. Divorced parents navigating these waters in difficult cases have been able to do this and told me that it was the best (and sometimes the most difficult) choice they ever made.