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Jill O’Connell – Learn More About Jill
Video Transcript:
Hi, I’m Jill O’Connell. This is One on Wednesday. Thanks for joining me.
I am the owner and attorney at O’Connell Law Firm in Lake Dallas. I wanted to take a few minutes today to reintroduce myself for those of you who are just finding our videos or have maybe seen a few others and let you know a little bit about me and my office.
As I said earlier, we’re in Lake Dallas, which is almost the middle of Denton County and so we are conveniently located right off of, excuse me, I35 and it is an easy drive from almost anywhere in Denton County.
We are also exclusively family law. So family law includes divorce and the issues that go with divorce, any post-divorce issues, things having to do with child support, child custody and anything that relates to the family.
In that, we also only focus in Denton County at this time. We are exclusively Denton County because of the way that I believe that it serves our clients right now.
We can be reached by phone, email, we’re on social media, and the phone number to make an appointment is (940) 497-5454. If you’ve got a question specific to your case, if you find yourself in a divorce, either one that’s expected or unexpectedly, I am happy to visit with you more specifically about what’s going on in your life and we do that through a consultation.
Again, you can reach us at (940) 497-5454.
One on Wednesday™ –
Best Mediation
Jill O’Connell:
Preparing for mediation can make all the difference in your outcome at the end of the day. I’m Jill O’Connell. This is One on Wednesday. When you’re preparing for mediation make sure that you know, or have the information that you need in order to make a decision in your case. And you want to look at all of the issues that are in your case. If you’ve got property, make sure that you have all of the information that you need in order to decide what kind of result or destination that property is going to have. And if you have financial accounts, make sure that you know what you want to know and what you need to know in order to make a good informed decision regarding those accounts. In the case of a divorce with children, make sure that you understand what the schedules can be in your area, in your state. And sometimes as local as your county for particulars on the options for you.
Jill O’Connell:
What kind of terms are your lawyer and your mediator likely to use? Do you understand those terms? If they’re using a description of something that is a legal concept or a legal rule regarding your kids, if you don’t understand, make sure that you ask your lawyer to get that information for you. And the other issue with children is child support, make sure that you know what the options are and what the possible outcomes are for child support. These different pieces of information in the different areas of your case are all necessary so that you can make an informed decision in your mediation. That is the best way to prepare for a good mediation. I’m Jill O’Connell. This is One on Wednesday. See you in the next one.
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One on Wednesday™ –
DIY Divorce
Jill O’Connell:
“What do you think about DIY websites for divorce?” That’s a great question. I’m Jill O’Connell, this is One on Wednesday. What I think about DIY forms on divorce is that they can be a great tool to get access to a divorce that is not as expensive as hiring an attorney. Some websites have accurate and good Texas information. A lot of websites do not. But I don’t have an opinion about every single website out there. I certainly do not look at every website. But my concern about DIY websites and DIY divorce is that I have seen more harm in my office caused by two people who were basically in agreement about their divorce and did not want or were not able to afford an expensive divorce and made some choices that they believed were going to be good and they both agreed with but that had negative long-term effects for them. None of them intended, not from one person trying to outdo the other or best the other. And that is a problem.
Jill O’Connell:
My thought is that if you believe that a DIY divorce or a website form is your best option, then what you should do is take it to an attorney and get it reviewed after you’ve created it. Make sure that what you want is what your divorce decree says. And that is my thought on DIY divorce. I’m Jill O’Connell, see you in the next One.
One on Wednesday™ –
Driving & Co-parenting
Jill O’Connell:
Why can’t I co-parent with my ex? It just seems like they don’t want to co-parent. That’s a very common question I get. And this week I came up with an answer while I was driving. Now that sounds weird. Bear with me a little bit. But I think that part of the issue is just remembering that while you’re making the choices that are in the best interest of your child, if your ex, your co-parent, doesn’t want to also co-parent and they want to take another route, then you need to just stay in your own lane. And make the choices that are in the best interest of your child and co-parent, or attempt to co-parent, in the way that you believe is best.
Jill O’Connell:
Why that came to me while I was driving because it’s a lot like driving in Texas. You might want to not pass on the right like the person that just did that to you, or maybe you don’t want to engage with the too fast and furious little cars that are weaving in and out of traffic like they’re making a movie. You just want to stay in your lane, make the choices that are best, that get you to your destination in the best way you see fit for that parenting journey. I’m Jill O’Connell, see you in the next one.
One on Wednesday™ –
Co-parenting Tools
Jill O’Connell:
What are some co-parenting tools that I can use to get a fresh start on this school year? I’m Jill O’Connell. This is One on Wednesday. And that’s what I’m going to visit with you about today.
Some of the tools that you can use to maybe get a fresh start or maybe rejuvenate your co-parenting relationship as you start this school year after this 18 months of what feels like constant change is to take a look at what you’re currently using and see what’s working and see what isn’t. If you’re not using a co-parenting communication app or website, maybe this is the time to think about one of those. There are several out there. Everybody communicates in a different way and can find one that fits. There are several that are subscription services, and then there are several that are free. So, I would take a look at that and maybe start with what works and what doesn’t, and maybe a co-parenting app, it’s time for that.
Then, next, I would assess where you are with your kids’ needs. How are the needs being met? Are the needs changing? Is that creating some things that you need to maybe touch base with your co-parent about? Your kids are going to go through several stages during your co-parenting season, and it’s going to require work just like it would if you were still married. It has nothing to do necessarily with the parents, but just the changes of the kids and what’s best for them now. Those are several things that can help you refresh, rejuvenate that co-parenting relationship as you move forward, and start this school year in the best way you can. I’m Jill O’Connell. This is One on Wednesday.
One on Wednesday™ –
Taking My Ex To Court
Jill O’Connell:
I don’t understand why we can’t just take my ex to court and require such-and-such, fill in the blank. Use your imagination. That is a question that I get in many forms when I’m visiting with a parent after a divorce.
The question about requiring your ex as a parent to do something or stopping them from doing a particular thing that is either frustrating or causing problems for either the co-parenting relationship or if the parents aren’t able to co-parent, just the other parent and what they perceive to be troubling to their children is a very common question. And the reason that those types of questions and those types of issues are so difficult is because as lawyers, when we are approaching the court, after a divorce, there are two options.
One is to modify the existing orders that are defining the parent and child relationship between both parents and the children that were from that relationship. Or, the other option is to enforce a particular part of an order that is defining that parent and child relationship. Those are the two options. There can be some other nuances in there, but in general, those are the two options. So as a lawyer, when I’m faced with those difficult questions about difficulties in the relationship and what one parent is doing or not doing, those are the two available options that I use the framework to analyze your question and then give options to someone I’m visiting with.
That can be frustrating for a parent because of a particular situation. But just so you know, there are other options for you other than the court. Sometimes those other options are better options. If you’re meeting with a lawyer and they don’t have the option that you want, then ask what their recommendation is. A good experienced family lawyer is going to have come across many different types of ways of dealing with particular issues and could offer some of those to you, some alternatives.
I hope this was helpful. I’m Jill O’Connell. This is One On Wednesday.
One on Wednesday™ –
Sign Off Communication With Ex
Jill O’Connell:
Hi, I’m Jill O’Connell. Just as summer is getting into full swing, we are back to school. I’m not a big fan. How about you? Anyway, I’ve gotten a few questions that sound a little bit like this, recently. How do I end my email to my ex? How do I have an easy way to finish off my texts and let them know I don’t want to continue a conversation with them and that I’m finished? Well, one of my best tips is to come up with just a simple, straightforward sign off, whether that’s… like lawyers say, best regards, or something a little bit more friendly or casual.
You could say, thanks so much. You could say, thanks, will see you later. You could come up with whatever sounds like in your voice, just a quick, easy, simple sign off, something that’s easy to remember. So every time you can just finish off your text or emails that way. That’s a pretty simple way to just get the message across that you’re done with that set of communications, that thought and that you’re going to move on to another task. Hope this was helpful. This is One on Wednesday. I’m Jill O’Connell.
One on Wednesday™ –
School With Coparenting
Jill O’Connell:
It’s One on Wednesday, I’m Jill O’Connell. What does divorce look like? That sounds like an odd question, but it covers a question I get a lot, which is, ‘Is this normal?’ Is this what everybody does? Is this how everybody normally does this? That topic covers everything that happens in a divorce at various stages in a divorce. So I want to reassure you, divorce is as unique as your personality and your spouse’s personality. It can be just as simple as you two have reached an agreement on everything, including any child issues, all property issues, timing, spousal support if there’s any of that, child support, any and all issues before the divorce even gets started.
Divorce can be as litigated in that you don’t agree on anything and everything in between there as well. The statistic is that 95% of divorces end outside of a final trial. They use some sort of settlement process or participation in some sort of settlement or negotiation proceeding. So how that looks for each and every divorcing couple is entirely different. There are the legal concepts that are the same in every divorce, but each and every divorce has its own personality, just like the two divorcing spouses. I’m Jill O’Connell. This is One on Wednesday.
One on Wednesday™ –
Normal Divorce
Jill O’Connell:
It’s One on Wednesday, I’m Jill O’Connell. What does divorce look like? That sounds like an odd question, but it covers a question I get a lot, which is, ‘Is this normal?’ Is this what everybody does? Is this how everybody normally does this? That topic covers everything that happens in a divorce at various stages in a divorce. So I want to reassure you, divorce is as unique as your personality and your spouse’s personality. It can be just as simple as you two have reached an agreement on everything, including any child issues, all property issues, timing, spousal support if there’s any of that, child support, any and all issues before the divorce even gets started.
Divorce can be as litigated in that you don’t agree on anything and everything in between there as well. The statistic is that 95% of divorces end outside of a final trial. They use some sort of settlement process or participation in some sort of settlement or negotiation proceeding. So how that looks for each and every divorcing couple is entirely different. There are the legal concepts that are the same in every divorce, but each and every divorce has its own personality, just like the two divorcing spouses. I’m Jill O’Connell. This is One on Wednesday.
One on Wednesday™ –
Child Support
Jill O’Connell:
Hi, I’m Jill O’Connell. Thanks for joining me today for One on Wednesday. Today’s topic is child support, and I’m just going to give you some definitions and a brief look at child support in this short minute with you today. Child support in Texas is based on the parent that is paying child support, and their income. It is based on a monthly net figure, which is determined by the statute, and then a percentage from that monthly net is determined to be child support. For example, one child is 20% of the monthly net, two children is 25% of the monthly net, and it increases from there.
Jill O’Connell:
Some of the common terms that are used when talking about child support in Texas: obligor, that’s the parent paying child support. Obligee, that’s the parent who is receiving the child support. One abbreviation that’s commonly used is OAG, that’s Office of the Attorney General. Disbursement unit, that’s another term that’s commonly used, and what that means is the child support disbursement unit through the Office of the Attorney General’s Office. So some of those terms are long, and family law attorneys will use those abbreviations or shortened terms when having a conversation, or perhaps sending an email about that topic. And then to close it out today, income withholding, that’s withholding the child support from the income of the obligor, and then the employer sends it off to the Office of the Attorney General to be dispersed to the parent receiving child support.
Jill O’Connell:
That is a very short overview of child support in Texas, and if you’ve got questions about child support, it is always best to seek out advice from an experienced family law divorce attorney. I’m Jill O’Connell. Thanks for joining me today.
One on Wednesday™ –
What is a Mediator
Jill O’Connell:
What is a mediator and who can be a mediator? Those are excellent questions that I get asked from people contacting my office. Well, the mediator is a third party in the divorce negotiation process. And by that, I mean, the mediator is neutral. The mediator is not working for one side or against that side, or for or against the other side. So that puts the mediator in a special role of not having to advocate for either party.
Jill O’Connell:
The mediator’s focus is on assisting the divorcing spouses in their ability and work towards reaching an agreement that they can live with regarding all of the issues in the divorce, including the division of property, debts and liabilities, terms for the children, including child support, possession schedules, rights and duties, and including any other issues that might need to be dealt with to finish that divorce well. The mediator’s focus is working towards that agreement, and that is the goal of hiring that third-party neutral.
Jill O’Connell:
Who can be a mediator? Well, a trained mediator is best. And in a divorce case, a family law or divorce attorney with that mediation training is your best choice for successful mediation. I’m Jill O’Connell. This is One On Wednesday. Thanks for joining me.
One on Wednesday™ –
What’s Normal in Divorce
Jill O’Connell:
You know what I get asked a lot? What is normal in divorce? I get asked that question at different times during the divorce. For instance, it may come up if there’s a particular type of discovery being used. “Is this what people normally do?” And it can come up also when we are finishing the divorce, using a particular way to finish the divorce, whether it’s a settlement conference or a mediation or back and forth negotiations between the attorneys or back and forth negotiations between the two spouses getting divorced. And people are curious if that’s what’s normally done, or is that what everybody does? And there’s one answer that applies in most circumstances, if not all. And that is, there is no normal in divorce. We know that a high percentage of divorces do not end by going to trial. 95% of divorces end by reaching an agreement, using some type of settlement process.
Jill O’Connell:
But what is great about the divorce is that it is particular to your needs. If your case needs a mediation, you can get a mediation. If you’re able to come to the place with your attorney that you and your spouse already have an agreement, also great. And you can give that agreement to your attorney. So, there is no one way to finish your divorce, and finishing a divorce is as unique as you are and the needs that your case has. So you have a lot of options out there. Traditional litigation is not the only option. It’s not the only way to finish it a divorce.
Jill O’Connell:
And if you have questions about how you can reach an agreement with your spouse or use some of those tools in your case, talk to your divorce attorney, ask those questions. They may not even know that you have those questions and that you want to do something other than a traditional litigation path. I’m Jill O’Connell. This is One on Wednesday. Thanks for joining me.