divorce negotiation

Divorce Private Negotiations

“Private Negotiations” in divorce are being talked about all over the place including the supermarket magazine headlines. The good news is that you can use private negotiation methods in your divorce.  And, more good news for you, it probably won’t end up as a headline on a magazine at the store.  But, I digress.  Back to negotiating in your divorce.

Yes, everybody can negotiate privately with their spouse while working through a divorce.  Here are a few ways that can happen: mediation, settlement conference and your divorce lawyer.

Your Divorce Lawyer

So, let’s start with your divorce lawyer.  Your relationship with your divorce lawyer is designed to be private – by confidentiality and attorney-client privilege.  And, your lawyer can negotiate with the other lawyer in the case by talking with her, meeting with her or even by email.  None of those methods require filing anything in the case so nothing is public record.

Settlement Conference

Second, you and your lawyer could have a meeting with your spouse and his or her divorce lawyer.  These meetings vary in many ways from case to case and can be as long or short as you and the other side agree they should be.  Usually, if the parties are getting along a little bit, they can agree on an office to hold the meeting and one party and lawyer will be in one conference room and the other lawyer and party will be in another room.  Then, the lawyers will go back and forth between their clients and meeting together to see if they can reach any agreements.  This all happens in the privacy of one law office and if an agreement is reached it can be used to prepare the divorce decree.


Mediation is another option.  There are a few differences with mediation than the other two methods of negotiating.  One difference goes to the privacy of the agreement.  Generally an agreement concludes with a Mediated Settlement Agreement that lists all of the agreements that the parties have made. You both sign it and it is filed with the court.  And, the mediator *usually files a report in your case about whether or not mediation was successful.  So, while the negotiation is privately done- the agreement is likely public record.

So, you have something in common with celebrities – you can negotiate privately with your soon to be ex-spouse.

Contact us for your questions regarding divorce issues and family law questions – 940-497-5454.


Jill O’Connell