Divorce Mediation Myths
Not all divorces have to end in a drama filled trial with two divorce lawyers objecting and cross-examining the spouses on the most private details of their lives. Actually, more than 90% of divorces end in a settlement, an agreement between the two soon-to-be ex-spouses. Divorce attorneys know that agreements can happen at any time, between the two spouses informally, between the divorce attorneys or in some other attorney assisted negotiation method but sometimes the ones going through divorce get caught up in the divorce battle of the moment and believe that means they will be litigating their divorce to the ugly finish. Additionally, mediation is one of the ways that two divorcing spouses can negotiate to agreement on the divorce issues including parenting plans, child support, assets, debts, property, spousal maintenance and any other questions or areas.
Mediation can be scheduled with a mediator by agreement of the divorcing parties with the divorce lawyers or divorcing parties representing themselves in their divorce. Mediation can also be ordered by the court. Texas courts may require divorcing couples to attend mediation before they can set a divorce trial date and sometimes before they can begin the divorce trial. Divorce mediation can occur in person or online. As this post is being written in the end of 2020, and the pandemic is still ongoing, mediation is still occurring using online platforms for the divorce mediation.
As you consider whether mediation is a fit for your divorce, you will want to think about your divorce preparation, your divorce lawyer, your divorce goals and your divorce strategy.
Today, let’s talk about some divorce mediation myths that I’ve found can become worries for someone going through divorce, and whether the mediation worry is true or false.
Mediation Myth: I Will Have to be Face to Face with My Spouse
False: This is a mediation myth that is false. I think this idea comes from t.v. and movies that have divorce scenes in them when the divorcing spouses and their attorneys are sitting in a large conference room at a huge conference room table facing each other with offers and rejections flying back and forth. In Texas divorce mediation, that isn’t the usual method used for mediation. It’s much more likely that you and your soon to be ex will be in separate rooms (online or actual rooms) and the mediator will be the one who goes back and forth between the rooms working throughout the day working towards an agreement between the spouses.
Mediation Myth: Online Mediation Won’t Work.
False: Online mediation works. In fact, in some cases it seems to be very helpful to make the divorcing spouses comfortable, and able to work all day towards the goal of a mediated agreement. There is something unique about being in a location that you’re familiar with and comfortable in for mediation.
Mediation Myth: Divorcing Spouses Must Be Friendly for Mediation to Work.
False: Mediation doesn’t require soon to be ex-spouses be friends or even friendly. Mediation is about each of the divorce parties (the spouses) working towards a negotiated agreement. In Texas, a divorce mediation is likely to be scheduled for one full day of mediation, but it can be scheduled in increments like half-day mediation or smaller blocks of time with several mediation days on the mediation schedule.
In a divorce mediation, all of the divorce areas will be discussed. The areas of divorce could be broad or narrow. Each divorce mediation is unique to the divorce. The divorce issues can include any or all of these in the divorce mediation: child(ren) support, child(ren) possession, rights and duties of each parent regarding the child(ren), where the child(ren) will live, dividing community assets and property, confirming separate property, awarding or confirming debts and liabilities, details regarding transferring the property, and many more. The issues can be as unique as each spouse involved in the divorce.
These are just a few false ideas about divorce mediation that I’ve discussed with clients over the years. Mediation can be helpful in many divorce cases, though not all divorces.
If you’d like to discuss divorce, divorce mediation or divorce coaching with a Lewisville divorce attorney, call today to schedule your consultation or meeting with divorce lawyer and certified divorce coach, Jill O’Connell at 972-203-6644.